Gaming

Paris Hilton once said, "Tell others what they want to hear, then do whatever you want." Excellent advice really. I keep forgetting that much of life, especially regarding social interactions, is a game. I'm not sure why this is the case. I hate playing games. I have been known to play games by accident - games like the ever-popular "passive aggression". I'm not proud of this. I'm not sure if people are conscious of the games they play. It seems that, to some extent, they must be. I personally prefer to be as honest and straightforward as possible. It cuts out a lot of bullshit. I'm the type of person who will show up at your garden party solely to discuss politics, religion and human sexuality. Fuck the weather and I don't know anything about the Dodgers. Why the hell would I be talking to someone if I didn't want to get to know him? I want to know what you think God is and what your deepest fears are. Only then do I know I can trust you.

But, as I've always said, I think I'm probably an alien. Most humans like garden parties and games. Several of the blog posts I've made discuss academic departmental politics. This shit's been plaguing me lately for various reasons...I think mainly due to a departmental split that I and few others are straddling. But departmental politics, like all politics, is a game. Politics is the game of all games. All of the words that go along with it - bureaucracy, diplomacy - connote this. This is something that may be obvious to many, but I'm just awkward enough to have missed it. Or forgotten it. I have a difficult time being insincere. It makes me feel dirty. But the fact is, when the situation one finds oneself in is set up, inherently, as a game...all one can do is play the game. All players are insincere. All actions are moves on a gameboard. Dr. Smeld is playing the game. Dr. Scalejake is playing the game. Dr. Graspawoman is playing the game. Even Haj and Scott are playing the game.

The only way I can function in a disagreeable sociopolitical environment (one in which leaving is not an option) is to discover others' interests, pretend that my interests coincide with theirs to create the pleasantest of possible rapports and then, when they're not looking, act in what I believe to be everyone's best interest.

I have a tendency to internalize things, but some things eat away at our souls. Games are intended to be superficial. That is why global politics becomes so dangerous. When we start gambling with people's lives, superficiality flies out the window (unless you're a Republican :)). Fortunately, at this point I'm only dealing with departmental politics. And if Smeld, Scalejake and Graspawoman aren't taking the B.S. home with them, then neither will I.