I feel kind of dirty about the last post, so I thought I'd attach, or provide rather, an addendum. My mother, a woman I admire greatly, gave me a pretty sound piece of advice. She said, no matter what the situation, be kind to everyone. Even if you disagree with the person. Even if you feel hurt or disrespected. Do what's right/best for you...you don't have to bow down to the interests of others, but always be kind.
I like this. I like the word kind. It means so much more than the word "nice" or "polite" or even "friendly". Kindness is a manifestation of the soul. There is truth and sincerity in it. I think that this is what Gandhi meant when he said you have to be the change you want to see in the world. You've got to have conviction, to stand up for yourself and your cause, but part of that cause, I believe, should always be to imbue the world around you with love and compassion.
I am not saying that I am a master of this - or even good at it a lot of the time, but when everything else is stripped away, this balancing act, this spiritual ecosystem remains. If I fight fire with fire, if I allow those who wish to tear me down to succeed, I am forfeiting my opportunity to maintain this delicate equilibrium. The scale is tipped on the side of aggression and intimidation. If, however, I choose to react with compassion, equilibrium is reestablished.
I'm not saying that I'm all that important on a cosmic scale, but then we are all a part of it. You know, "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls..."
In conclusion, always remember that it's always funny to hug a grumpy person...and it's good for your karma too!
P.S. Great quote from the Dalai Lama concerning his generous attitude toward Chinese soldiers in Tibet: They've taken everything from us; should we allow them to take our minds too?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Gaming
Paris Hilton once said, "Tell others what they want to hear, then do whatever you want." Excellent advice really. I keep forgetting that much of life, especially regarding social interactions, is a game. I'm not sure why this is the case. I hate playing games. I have been known to play games by accident - games like the ever-popular "passive aggression". I'm not proud of this. I'm not sure if people are conscious of the games they play. It seems that, to some extent, they must be. I personally prefer to be as honest and straightforward as possible. It cuts out a lot of bullshit. I'm the type of person who will show up at your garden party solely to discuss politics, religion and human sexuality. Fuck the weather and I don't know anything about the Dodgers. Why the hell would I be talking to someone if I didn't want to get to know him? I want to know what you think God is and what your deepest fears are. Only then do I know I can trust you.
But, as I've always said, I think I'm probably an alien. Most humans like garden parties and games. Several of the blog posts I've made discuss academic departmental politics. This shit's been plaguing me lately for various reasons...I think mainly due to a departmental split that I and few others are straddling. But departmental politics, like all politics, is a game. Politics is the game of all games. All of the words that go along with it - bureaucracy, diplomacy - connote this. This is something that may be obvious to many, but I'm just awkward enough to have missed it. Or forgotten it. I have a difficult time being insincere. It makes me feel dirty. But the fact is, when the situation one finds oneself in is set up, inherently, as a game...all one can do is play the game. All players are insincere. All actions are moves on a gameboard. Dr. Smeld is playing the game. Dr. Scalejake is playing the game. Dr. Graspawoman is playing the game. Even Haj and Scott are playing the game.
The only way I can function in a disagreeable sociopolitical environment (one in which leaving is not an option) is to discover others' interests, pretend that my interests coincide with theirs to create the pleasantest of possible rapports and then, when they're not looking, act in what I believe to be everyone's best interest.
I have a tendency to internalize things, but some things eat away at our souls. Games are intended to be superficial. That is why global politics becomes so dangerous. When we start gambling with people's lives, superficiality flies out the window (unless you're a Republican :)). Fortunately, at this point I'm only dealing with departmental politics. And if Smeld, Scalejake and Graspawoman aren't taking the B.S. home with them, then neither will I.
But, as I've always said, I think I'm probably an alien. Most humans like garden parties and games. Several of the blog posts I've made discuss academic departmental politics. This shit's been plaguing me lately for various reasons...I think mainly due to a departmental split that I and few others are straddling. But departmental politics, like all politics, is a game. Politics is the game of all games. All of the words that go along with it - bureaucracy, diplomacy - connote this. This is something that may be obvious to many, but I'm just awkward enough to have missed it. Or forgotten it. I have a difficult time being insincere. It makes me feel dirty. But the fact is, when the situation one finds oneself in is set up, inherently, as a game...all one can do is play the game. All players are insincere. All actions are moves on a gameboard. Dr. Smeld is playing the game. Dr. Scalejake is playing the game. Dr. Graspawoman is playing the game. Even Haj and Scott are playing the game.
The only way I can function in a disagreeable sociopolitical environment (one in which leaving is not an option) is to discover others' interests, pretend that my interests coincide with theirs to create the pleasantest of possible rapports and then, when they're not looking, act in what I believe to be everyone's best interest.
I have a tendency to internalize things, but some things eat away at our souls. Games are intended to be superficial. That is why global politics becomes so dangerous. When we start gambling with people's lives, superficiality flies out the window (unless you're a Republican :)). Fortunately, at this point I'm only dealing with departmental politics. And if Smeld, Scalejake and Graspawoman aren't taking the B.S. home with them, then neither will I.
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