Most Significant Dreams

Disclaimer: Please excuse the rampant self-involvement of the following post. It is more a record for myself than for others. Nonetheless, if it inspires others to pay attention to and analyze their dreams, it has done its job. I cannot emphasize enough how beneficial dream awareness can be...or at least it has been for me.

1. Age 6, 1988:

I am in the gameroom my family recently converted from what used to be the garage of my childhood home. I am tied to a chair being held captive by a road-runner. This is not the cartoon road-runner, but a real road-runner. However, it is very vibrantly colored – all of the colors of the rainbow. Though it is understood in the dream that the road-runner is the one holding me captive, the road-runner itself sits inside a cage that is attached to the wall. Eventually, I free myself from my restraints and walk toward the sliding-glass door to look out into the backyard. My parents are outside doing yard work. I see my father put his index finger to the tip of his nose, and when he pulls his finger away, the tip of his nose detaches from the rest of his nose and remains attached to his index finger. I freak out, run outside and tell my mother what I saw: “Dad took his nose off!” My mother turns to my father and says, “Hon, could you not take your nose off in front of the kids; they can’t do it yet.” I’m horrified to learn that I am of a breed of monsters. I awake and run into my parents’ room, wake my mother and tell her my dream, possibly crying, definitely freaking out.

2. Age 19 or 20 (same age in the dream), 2001-02:

I am on the deck outside and in the back of the house in which I grew up (the same one as above). There is a dirty, white curtain hanging from the sky. It is tattered and torn up. To the left is a palm plant (like the ones that grew downstairs under the deck) potted, but dried up, brown and dying. A strong wind picks up and blows through the torn curtain and the dried leaves of the palm plant. It is God speaking to me. Surprisingly, considering I do not believe in “God”, or at least the standard American conception of “God”, I become overwhelmed with emotion. I gasp and cannot breathe as if someone has punched me in the stomach, and I begin to tear up. I awaken and am frustrated that I cannot remember what God said to me, then later realize that what was said was not said in English or any human language that can be understood verbally.

3. Age 19 or 20 (same age in the dream), 2001-02:

This dream, I believe, occurred after the one just above, but I am not sure. They occurred, I believe, within about 6 months of each other; a year at the most. I am lying on the ground just in front of the garage behind the house in which I grew up (same house). This is the garage built to replace the one which was converted into a gameroom. I am wrapped in a white curtain hanging from the sky. It is long and wrapped around my body several times, with my arms down at my sides. I am wrapped as a corpse is wrapped for illegal disposal. There is a serial rapist and murderer prowling the neighborhood. I do not see him, but I know that he is inside my house. He is going to rape and kill my mother and sister and when he is done, he is going to come after me. I feel completely helpless and terrified. I want desperately to help my mother and sister and to save myself, but I can do nothing but lie immobile wrapped in the curtain.

Looking up “curtains” in a dream dictionary, I found that curtains represent hiding or protection. This seems obvious. It was only after discovering this and interpreting the second of the adult dreams that I understood what God had said to me in the first of the adult dreams. Thus, a running theme through all of these dreams is captivity or immobilization. My natural inclination is to protect myself, my vulnerability and sensitivity (via curtains), but that protection is what immobilizes me and keeps me from progressing and functioning successfully in life. The first dream (childhood) indicates the reason I feel the need to protect myself. I fear that I am a monstrosity and want to “hide” that from others; protect myself from being judged or treated harshly because of it. I’ve carried this initial fear throughout my life which results in dreams set in my childhood home. The first of the adult dreams, however, presents the curtain as tattered and torn. What God says to me, therefore, is that only after I destroy such curtains will I be able to function to the best of my ability and live freely.

*In the childhood dream, the road-runner is held captive while holding me captive. The road-runner is a representation of myself. This is not wholly negative. The road-runner is vibrantly colorful, which is why it must be caged. But it cages itself as it binds me. It is entirely within the road-runner’s ability to free itself; to perceive its vibrancy not as flaw but as a strength.